‘Spirit of Forgiveness.” This, both surprising and deeply moving, headline touched the hearts of many when they read the accounts of the funeral of 76-year-old Viola Barrios, who had been tragically murdered in her home. As I presided at the funeral of Mrs. Barrios, I was inspired by the sight of the victim’s family, and the family of the 18-year-old boy arrested and charged in this case, embracing and exchanging heartfelt words of sorrow and forgiveness.
At the end of the funeral of this remarkable and faith-filled woman, the quality of her faith, and the strength of her character became apparent in the spirit, actions and words expressed by her children. “We forgive him,” they said.
A few days later, in a story in the San Antonio Express-News, the family said that their mother would want them to carry on her legacy of forgiveness. “It’s like we heard her loud and clear, and she said, ‘Forgive, don’t hate. I didn’t live for this.’”
Mercy and compassion are powerful tools of healing in a world that seems more intent on vengeance and retribution. In my pastoral letter, “The Tender Mercy of Our God,” I wrote, “Living as children of the Father who is rich in mercy, we must be apostles of reconciliation in a world that is angry and violent, in a culture of blame and revenge. We are haunted by the specter of terrorism. But the terrorist mindset is rooted in a very basic refusal to forgive.”
Forgiveness is truly in our nature, and is within our power. When Jesus proclaimed that we must “love one another,” he wasn’t just asking us to carry out acts of charity and love for those who are lovable and love you back. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you … If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”
In our own time, we have seen inspiring examples of forgiveness of those who would commit violence. After he was shot in 1981, Pope John Paul II publicly forgave the 43-year-old shooter, then visited him in prison and asked for clemency. Closer to home, Archbishop Patrick Flores forgave the man who took him and his secretary hostage. He materially helped his family and even testified on his behalf at the sentencing portion of his trial.
Even though these examples are powerful and inspiring witnesses to the Gospel, it seems that for some it’s easy to dismiss these acts of compassion and forgiveness as merely the expected behavior of holy men. I believe that’s what, in part, makes the words and actions of the Barrios family so moving. These are people like you and me. They live in our town. They are good people, deeply wounded by the loss of their loving mother in a senseless, violent act, who still can find it in their hearts to forgive. Their actions remind us that this kind of unconditional mercy is possible in the very human experience of daily life.
Yet in today’s world, it seems that we want to pick and choose who is worthy of our compassion and forgiveness. However, we know that we all fall short; we all succumb, in one way or another, to our human nature to sin. Again, in my pastoral letter, I pointed to St. Paul, who was humbled by his weakness and his tendencies toward sin: “For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want.”
Our Lord understood this about us, too. He knew all about human nature. He came among us to save his people from sin. He poured out his blood on the cross for the forgiveness of sins, to take away the sin of the world. We are all at the mercy of a God who loves us without condition and forgives us, even in our weakest hour.
The disciples said to Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray.” With the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us also how to live. “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Jesus calls us to be merciful to our brothers and sisters as our heavenly Father has been merciful to us. He calls us to forgive those who trespass against us as the Father forgives our trespasses against him. And our Lord warned us that we couldn’t expect forgiveness and mercy from the Father unless we are willing to forgive our brothers from the heart.
In the pain and suffering that sin brings into the world, we are still called to live a life of mercy and love. Even in the betrayal and pain of the cross, Jesus still said, “Father, forgive them.”
Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, addressing the power of suffering for another wrote, “In Christ, who died on the cross for us, we can definitely confirm the fact that suffering can transform itself into a great love and an extraordinary generosity.” We have seen that healing power touch our lives in the “spirit of forgiveness” that has more than made headlines, it has healed hearts.